Snap your bog roll. Get matched with a complete stranger who is, right now, also on the toilet. Chat for 5 minutes about anything. Then flush it and carry on with your life. No names. No trace. No awkward morning after.
It's not complicated. You're already sitting down. That's the hard part done.
Open the app, point it at your loo roll. That's your ticket in. We don't make the rules. Actually we do. This is the rule.
Right now, somewhere out there, someone else is also on the toilet. We put you together. We've thought about whether this is weird and decided it isn't. We're probably wrong.
Talk about literally anything. The meaning of life. Whether a Jaffa Cake is a biscuit. Why you're still here. Clock's ticking.
Save the chat as text or a full AI voiceover. Some conversations deserve to outlive the flush. Video replays coming soon.
We put genuine engineering effort into this. Whether that's admirable or tragic is up to you.
You sign in so we can keep the weirdos out, but the stranger never sees your name. No profiles, no LinkedIn requests. They'll never know it was you. Unless you tell them, which you probably will.
Like a speed date, but you're both on the toilet and neither of you can leave. Actually, exactly like some speed dates.
Save your chat as a dramatic AI voiceover. We trained artificial intelligence to do voices for toilet conversations. The researchers who built it think it's being used for something else. Video replays coming soon.
Your toilet roll photo is your identity. Andrex? Tesco Value? Says more about you than any dating profile ever could.
Every saved chat lives in your gallery. Two toilet rolls, a date, and a preview. It's like a photo album, but nobody wants to see it at Christmas.
Most conversations are not worth keeping. Some are. You'll know which is which about 30 seconds in.
Saved to your gallery with both bog rolls as the cover art, a date, and a preview of the chat. It's basically a scrapbook. Your grandchildren will find it one day.
AI picks two random voices and performs your conversation back to you as a full dramatic dialogue. Picture a BBC Radio 4 drama, except the entire script was written on the toilet. Which, to be fair, describes a lot of BBC Radio 4.
AI will generate an animated replay with random characters acting out your conversation. Like a short film, except the entire screenplay was written in a toilet. Which, to be fair, describes most British cinema. Not in the app yet — we're working on it.
Free. No dignity required.
Just you, your phone, and whatever Tesco had left on the shelf.
Launching soon on the App Store and Google Play. Someone will be on it. Sat exactly where you are. Staring at their phone. Waiting.